“I'm leaving, on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again.”
I ask myself; how does it feel to leave it all behind? It was a lot tougher the first time but I learned to live with it and kind of go with the flow, take it for what it was. And besides, you've got so much on your mind when you move to a country you have never even visited, that you barely have time to really feel anything. Aside from the time it takes to organize yourself, you're also overwhelmed by a new culture and new impressions.
Following this thread of thought, I ended up thinking about past times. When you're right smack in the middle of the present time, currently experiencing a time-period you'll later look back on, your thoughts are distorted. You've got all this clutter around you that infects your point of view. Well, most of us at least. We just can't see clearly because there are clouds of emotions and worry in front of us.
It's like Steve Jobs said in his Stanford commencement speech. "You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards," or something like that. It's true. When I was in LA, I couldn't see clearly because I had a lot of problems in my way. Of course, I had a great time but it doesn't justify what I see now that I look back on that period of my life.
At the time, I had a whole bunch of problems to deal with. But you know what I later realized? When I look back at it, despite all that, those were the happiest days of my life. They were the happiest days of my life. I didn't have my girlfriend, I didn't have so much money, but none of that mattered. They may give you satisfaction at the time but in retrospect, trouble, worries and material things just disappear.
What I remember is not problems. What I remember is the feeling of riding my bike along Venice Beach an afternoon in September. It's not the most beautiful place in LA, but there's something special about rolling down the bike lane with some music in your iPod, watching the people as you pass them. There's this satisfying contrast between the many people and the calm ocean, as a slight breeze comes along making the heat bearable.
What I remember is the wonderful feeling of walking down the Third Street Promenade on a late Friday evening. I remember the calmness of relaxing at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, slowly sipping a cup of flavored black tea, patiently waiting for it to cool down. Sitting outside, you can hear a street performer sing a beautiful song as she's stroking her guitar to an orgasm of beautiful tones.
It's funny how time gives you perspective that brings out those wonderful moments. Question is; why bother to worry when it won't matter anyhow?
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
—Leo F. Buscaglia