I’ve decided to move away from this god-forsaken place and into the sinful capital of Europe, Amsterdam. Or Hamsterdam as my sister likes to call it. Anyway, obviously this means that I’m now looking for work. This also leads me to wonder in which industry and profession I really belong.
We all wonder this sometimes but I don’t think there are many people that find it as uncomfortable as I do. The thought of not knowing where I belong and what my purpose is, it bothers me. Makes me think that whatever I do is a waste of time.
I mean, it’s like wandering around without knowing where to go - pretty pointless, don’t you think? And I’m a person that just can’t stand still. Always need to progress, develop, grow, succeed. Patience, bah.
So what do I do now and why not continue doing that? Right now I’m technical support for some big players in the IT-retail industry. I know Windows XP and Vista inside and out, and I can make pissed off people smile. I can practically do the job in my sleep, so why change?
Don’t get me wrong here. It’s an okay job and the pay is fine but you know what? It’s just not me. On the contrary to what you may think (and what I thought before I started,) technical support is not equal to problem solving. Sure, we fix things. Lots of things, actually. But the thing is; at the end of the day it’s all just repetitive work in an all too controlled environment.
So what’s my profession? I realize now that the answer is in my past and in my backbone. It’s been obvious for so long, yet I haven’t done anything about it. Really, I’m disappointed in myself.
You see, ever since I was a little kid I’ve spend countless hours in front of my computer. But I wasn’t like all the other kids, oh no. When they were blowing each others brains out in Quake, I was madly in love with Visual Studio (the Enterprise version, of course) and Dreamweaver.
I wrote my first website when I was 12 years old, so what the hell am I doing working as an answering machine? I used to live for C++ and PHP. It was what I loved most and my biggest dream were to become just like Carmack and Thorvalds. Ah, those were some of the best days in my life, I tell you that.
What happened? I blame women. I blame sex. I blame the gym. Or maybe I should blame myself for losing focus of what I do best and love the most? Bah, it doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is that I’ve regained consciousness - I’m back.
Web developer is my title. It’s in my backbone. All I need now is a productive and friendly company to represent, my own desk to work at and a big-ass apartment to sleep in. Damn, this will be fun!
Amsterdam, here we come - me and my chocolate bunny girlfriend.
